The Art of Authenticity: Tools to Become an Authentic Leader and Your Best Self by Karissa Thacker

Author:Karissa Thacker
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9781119153429
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2016-02-07T14:00:00+00:00

7

RELATIONAL TRANSPARENCY AND HONEST CONVERSATIONS

You can't manage a secret.

—Alan Mulally, former CEO, Ford Motor Company1

While I have never denied my sexuality, I haven't publicly acknowledged it either, until now. So let me be clear: I'm proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me. Being gay has given me a deeper understanding of what it means to be in the minority and provided a window into the challenges that people in other minority groups deal with every day. It's made me more empathetic, which has led to a richer life. It's been tough and uncomfortable at times, but it has given me the confidence to be myself, to follow my own path, and to rise above adversity and bigotry. It's also given me the skin of a rhinoceros, which often comes in handy when you are the CEO of Apple.

—Tim Cook, Apple CEO, to Bloomberg Business2

My client's eyes were tearing up as she declared, “I feel shell-shocked.” Barb had been recently promoted to the role of chief information officer in a division of a large financial services organization. Barb had progressed up the ladder through the years in the male-dominated world of financial services and information technology by working hard and inspiring loyalty from anyone and everyone who had ever worked for her. She never asked anyone to do anything she would not do herself. Barb was a Midwestern farm girl with a value system that held respect for everyone, and they felt it.

For the first time in her career, she was struggling in her new role. She also had a new boss who demanded that the information technology function be a strong business partner with clear opinions, ideas, and pushback on the lines of business when needed. I was serving as Barb's coach and advisor with the explicit goal of helping her be successful in the new role. We had drafted a focused plan for her executive development and had just reviewed the plan with Barb's boss, the president of the division.

As we were concluding the meeting, Barb's boss looked her straight in the eye and said: “You have to stop acting like you are glad to be here. You are too eager. You belong here. You will get over being glad to be at the table. Then, you will be more effective.”

We sat there in silence for a few moments as the raw honesty of the boss's words hit with a thud. I had been in similar meetings with this boss before. That raw honesty was part of her brand, and for some people it was just too much. Such people could not cut it on her team. This was Barb's first experience with such raw honesty in a 27-year corporate career. Hence, the shell-shocked feeling.

As Barb and I meandered back to her office, she gathered her composure and said, deadpan, “That was an honest conversation.” We laughed out loud. Barb had related the obvious: that it would have been easier and much more comfortable for everyone if her boss had avoided being that honest.

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